Tag: success

  • Top-10 Beliefs That Are Ruining Your Life

    Top-10 Beliefs That Are Ruining Your Life

    Wait a sec. How can a belief ruin your life? It’s just a measly little set of biochemical connections in your mind, no way can it have that kind of impact…. right!?

    What if you believed that all water is toxic? If you truly believed this, deep-down, you’d avoid all sources of water… and soon, you’d die. It’s not the water that is toxic, it’s the belief.

    All beliefs are that way. Most of us are comfortable in our beliefs because we’ve surrounded ourselves with other people who hold similar ones. That helps us feel “safe,” because most of us have a herd-like evolutionary (unconscious) belief of “safety in numbers.”

    But being part of a herd doesn’t mean that our beliefs are supporting our progress towards things that matter. Whether the things you want are better work-life balance, more recognition, more money or funding, or whatever – it is most likely your own (toxic) beliefs that hold you back from having those things.

    1. I’m nobody important, and I’m not sure why they gave me this position/accolade/promotion! In a world of over 7 billion people, it’s sometimes hard to feel important – and that means it’s much harder to achieve anything big. When we’re younger, most of us have our parents filling the role of seeing us as important. Then there’s a transition to adulthood, and most of us never replace the parental role with our own inner sense of importance. Believing in your own unimportance leads to self-sabotaging behaviors that will slow or halt progress towards things that you care about.
    2. There’s never enough time to get it all done This time-scarcity belief causes its holders to rush around, always hurrying, cramming and jamming into every possible moment every possible action until exhaustion comes. Yet, if you’re trying to achieve a new situation or goal, that doesn’t come from frenzied activity and lack of sleep. No, the source of change is always clarity, and clarity generally only comes easily to a rested and relaxed mind. A single action made in clarity can be as effective as 100 actions taken without clarity. Stop. Breath. Get clarity, then act.
    3. It’s a dangerous world out there Fear is a paralyzing feeling. How much can you accomplish towards your goals when you’re paralyzed? (hint: none). The more you believe in the world being a dangerous place due to politics, violence, environmental destruction, or whatever, it’s the belief in danger that will hold you back from making things happen.
    4. I’m better/smarter/wiser than my colleagues When you get a rejection, it’s easy to start pointing fingers at “stupid” colleagues that “don’t get it.” Yet that ego-driven attitude also subtly places you in the role of victim and pawn to “them.” This is a disempowering belief, because it prevents you from seeing the blind spots in you where improvement may be needed to get the results you want. Humility is essential to self-improvement, and ego gets in the way.
    5. There’s never enough money or funding to go around This belief in money scarcity reproduces itself in your life when you carry it around. Just look at the facts: there are trillions of dollars and other currencies flowing around the world. Some people (including some of your colleagues) are better at diverting a bigger portion of that flow (both in And out). However, if you’re caught in scarcity, you’re often focused on tightening down the outflow. Think about this: what happens when you turn a faucet — which regulates outflow — to a trickle? You get a trickle of an IN flow. Now, let’s say your faucet is wide open but the flow isn’t very good. It requires a totally different set of mental and physical tools to increase the inflow than it does to reduce outflow. However, if you have a belief that the in-flow is scarce, your focus will be mainly on limiting out-flow, and you’ll be forever caught in a loop of limitation.
    6. Great work speaks for itself There’s this belief amongst idealists that if you do some great work – whether it’s a scientific breakthrough, a new invention, a novel, or whatever – that you’ll get recognized for it. While it is true that some people do get recognized for such greatness posthumously, the question is whether you want to wait until you’re dead to get the rewards for your work. If you’d rather have some of those rewards here and now, then a belief that “Great work speaks for itself” is toxic. It is exceedingly rare that “great work” alone is enough to speak for itself. No, great work must have an effective spokesperson to get it out into the world, and that spokesperson is always one and the same as the originator of the work. (Unless you happen to be a billionare, and can hire a full-time PR team). It is only by embracing the idea that you are responsible for “marketing” your work to the world, and learning how to do it more effectively, that your cure/invention/idea/novel/etc is likely to get into the hands of other people where it can have its intended impact – and bring you recognition/money/reward as a result.
    7. It’s dangerous to be “vulnerable” with my colleagues Many people are extremely guarded around their colleagues, because they believe if they show any “weakness” it will be exploited by hostiles. However, research by Dr. Brené Brown and colleagues has clearly shown that it is psychologically unhealthy to exist in a closed-in cocoon of guardedness. It prevents us from making deep and meaningful connections with people in our lives, and it also prevent us from acting boldly. Doing anything great requires “putting yourself out there” and being willing to be criticized. If you’re locked in a guarded shell, you’ll be unable to make the bold leaps that are required to accomplish anything truly great. This means being forever locked in a cycle of mediocrity. Vulnerability is essential to great accomplishment.
    8. I have to do exactly as my boss/chair/dean/supervisor says in order to succeed If you work at a big-chain-fast-food-joint, then perhaps it’s essential for you to do exactly as people above you say. But when you’re in a position that requires leadership – such as being a faculty member or entrepreneur – you must be willing to follow your inner drive and your own vision, even if it means going in a different direction than someone else thinks you should. Often well-meaning advisors/mentors/bosses tell us things such as “you must apply for more grants.” Many of us try to be people pleasers and therefore to follow such advice. However, at the end of the day, leadership is one of the most essential attributes we must develop, and leadership always means listening to your own inner authority first and foremost. This doesn’t mean ignoring input from others, but it does mean that as a leader you make your own decisions and take full responsibility for them.
    9. I’m struggling because the system is messed up The system may well be messed up but this is never why any individual is struggling. Even in terrible systems or bad economies, there are always people who do well. It is tempting to believe that that’s due to luck, but it rarely is. Instead, it’s due to a spirit of entrepreneurialism, creativity, and fearlessness. While TV and movies would have you believe that its only the greedy, power-monging manipulators who succeed in rough environments, the reality is quite different. The Great Depression produced a large crop of millionaires, many of whom made their fortunes by ignoring the “depressive” sentiment of their time to act boldly in starting new businesses. The choice of whether you thrive or not has everything to do with your own attributes of entrepreneurialism and creativity, and very little to do with the external environment around you.
    10. I’m just a meaningless blip in a vast, cold, universe Humans thrive on meaning and purpose. All great works throughout human history have resulted from people who felt driven by some bigger purpose. So, if you believe that the universe is a hard, cold, meaningless place, that belief will stand like a big cement wall smack dab in your path to achieving important things. It doesn’t matter whether you believe that there’s something bigger/deeper than the material world we see or not, but if you lack purpose and meaning you will be ineffective and mediocre. So, getting rid of this belief and finding your own personal sense of meaning, purpose, and even wonder is like rocket fuel for great accomplishment.
    11. That all top-10 lists should only have 10 items I included this one just to show you the power of your own belief… and to demonstrate the automatic cognitive dissonance that occurs when a belief is violated. I also included it a a tribute to the movie Spinal Tap 😉

    There are plenty more where those come from, but if you found resonance in one or more of these, going to work on them will yield a tremendous bounty in your life.

     

     

  • Is your life ruled by "Lizard Brain?"

    Is your life ruled by "Lizard Brain?"

    Chances are, it is.

    If you have difficulty making tough decisions…

    If you have far too much on your plate and not enough time for it all…

    If you suffer from procrastination or perfectionism…

    If you like to wait until money is assured BEFORE you invest in yourself….

    If you regularly listen to the news and react with anger/frustration/fear…..

    These are signs that your LIMBIC system has control. The limbic brain came from our reptilian ancestors… eat, have sex, and run away from danger. That’s about it. It’s pretty good for those things… if that’s all you think your life should amount to, then keep on doing just that.

    And here’s where it will lead to:

    * As an entrepreneur, you’ll go from one marketing/sales program to the next, looking for the “magic bullet” that saves your hide. But somehow the hide-saving never quite happens. Meanwhile, you never seem to overcome those “hurdles” that keep rearing their ugly head each time… as you overwork yourself to the point of being ready to go back to a day job.

    * As a researcher, you will be scratching and clawing to get that next grant. You’ll procrastinate and perfect, spending nearly all your time on the small stuff, never finding the time for the big stuff that would move your life and career forward. You’ll know you’re capable of SO MUCH MORE and you scratch your head, wondering why you never seem to quite BE the SO MUCH MORE that you are.

    This lizard brain is very tricky… it not only keeps us shrinking back in fear from taking the big leaps that will truly make a difference… but it ALSO keeps us chasing after one “holy grail” after another to keep us entertained … just one more launch, just one more grant, just one more XXXYYYZZZ until salvation! Yay!

    As long as you are ruled by the FEAR (well disguised so that your ego doesn’t have to admit that you’re afraid – “who, me? I’m NOT AFRAID!”)… and as long as you are ruled by the chase-the-next-easy-out… your life, your business, your career will go NOWHERE.

    I can say that with confidence because I have previously let the fear infect me… I have let the lizard brain take over. Too many times. Each time I have gone backwards on money, relationships, and health. It was only by taking charge again (and getting good help) that I regained control.

    The only way to leave the lizard brain behind is connecting with your higher self. Scientifically that is your neocortex. Spiritually that is your core, or your “soul.” Operating from that place is THE OPPOSITE of being ruled by lizard-brain. It’s chill, it’s abundant, it’s fun, it’s easy.

    Beware lizard brain: it’s a big investment. And because this is what you might NEED, rather than being another easy little shiny-object or delaying tactic, you are probably firing full out right now. Red light. Red light. Scary. Let’s click onto the next post, or go get a coffee and procrastinate… again! Tomorrow will be better, or maybe the next day, or the day after that. Yes. That’s the easy way out. Lizard likes EASY. Yay!

    Well, if your higher self is watching all of that lizard brain stuff, and ready to actually TAKE CHARGE and do something about becoming the BEST person you can be (which will ONLY happen when you learn new habits to operate from the HIGHER SELF), then reach out to me. Like I said, one spot – that’s it for now.

  • I GIVE IN!!!

    It’s time I come clean, put my BS aside and take responsibility for my truest, most raw BEING.
    Why?
    To serve & honour myself…YES! And just as important, to lead by example.
    To inspire & facilitate your most extraordinary evolution through my deeds NOT JUST THROUGH MY WORDS.
    And to bestow on you, what you are worthy of….choice.
    See…
    For years I’ve been focused on bringing you things like grant writing and productivity because that’s what my ego thought you wanted.
    Did you ever notice that your ego creates many illusions? Mine certainly does.
    One of the illusions it created is this: “my story isn’t important.” I had a false sense of modesty, thinking that “I’m not interesting, let’s not talk about me…”
    And yet…
    Every time I’ve told my story of transformation (several of them!) and of ultimately “finding myself” I’ve had far more requests for help than at any other time. It has inspired people to grow and change, because my story shows that it’s possible despite great obstacles.
    So I finally had a “duh” moment the other day. People have been craving this for a reason:
    Our society is set up from day one to program us to NOT be ourselves, but to live for other people’s impressions of us.
    Our ego gets addicted to the positive feedback that others give us when we do things that are pleasing to THEM, and we un-learn how to just be ourselves.
    Yet being ourselves is THE platform for truly inspired creativity. Lots of people claim “I’m not creative” which is total BS. The lack of creativity is simply a lack of being tuned into “being oneself.” This goes on to impact all other areas of life, limiting career progress and satisfaction.
    Being disconnected from who you are, and living from ego gratification, presents challenges to deep, satisfying relationships. It presents challenges to being truly healthy. 
    Who you are is a wonderful, loving, beautiful, fun, unique being.
    Who you’ve been programmed to act as is quite likely competitive, skeptical, reserved… constantly having to “prove yourself” to others around you in order to feel worthy.
    This way of being leads to things like the “impostor syndrome.” If you’re not being you – but operating out of your ego’s notion of what you think others want from you – you’re going to feel like an impostor! Operating from this false platform will never lead to truly good things in life.
    People who’ve achieved so-called success in that way always end up self-sabotaging at some point. Like the guy I just heard about from a friend who was wealthy, until a particular self-sabotaging behavior (coming from Ego) sunk the whole ship, and now he’s destitute.
    Yep, that was me, for many years of my life. And it continued even after I had the sex change. One surgery didn’t suddenly resolve this disconnection I had from myself. (Oh I wish it were that easy!!) It took far more work than that.
    I had PLENTY of self-sabotage going on, despite my apparent successes that my ego has been able to brag about (like the track record of grant funding and business growth).
    So anyway….
    I give in! I give up on my own illusions that my story is unimportant and uninspiring. I give up on the notion that people need help with grants and productivity and creativity… when if I’d been listening, I would have heard the message loud and clear:
    “Morgan, help us learn how to powerfully express who we truly are in the world, with no illusions, games, or false fronts!”
    And in doing that, I strongly suspect that the “troubles” with grants, with sales, with relationships, with health, with employees, with feeling like an impostor… those things will start resolving themselves. (EVERY big breakthrough in these areas I’ve had has been directly correlated with work I’ve done on aligning with core.)
    Honestly, it’s a bit weird to do this. It seems too “easy” – but that’s only because I’ve spent years and some major ups and downs learning how to do just that. Learning how to finally be myself! So I’ll see how it goes….
    And, if you’re ready to go to work on this – to remove those layers of falsity that keep you from expressing who you are in the world – then reach out to me. I can help.
    Morgan
  • What Lies in Stone….

    When speaking of his historically famous Statue of David, Michelangelo said this, “Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.” He made similar comments throughout his lifetime about his artistic abilities and how he did not carve stone to look like figures, he simply released the figures from the stone. What a genius perspective to have. Michelangelo recognized that there was beauty within a block of stone and it was only up to him to reveal it. The same can be said for us and our authentic selves. I love talking about creating and how much better it can make every aspect of our lives, but when it comes to our core, its not about creating at all. It’s about what’s revealing whats already there.

    Who we are at our core is who we we were always meant to be. As we grow and experience life that connection to inner self can become foggy, and then layer upon layer we cover up that magnificent being and become who we think society, our families, our spouses, or our bosses want us to be.

    It is time to chip away at the layers surrounding our core. It is time to let go and release false beliefs and false judgements about ourselves.

    Just like Michelangelo’s beloved David, your authentic self is there, waiting in the stone to be uncovered.Screen Shot 2014-11-04 at 9.10.41 PM

  • Victimhood vs Vulnerability

    Being authentic in vulnerability vs. the hidden agenda of victimhood.

     

  • Want Happiness and Productivity? Get to that Core! (video)

     

    Isn’t it funny how the more we try to have control — swatting at negative emotions and demands like buzzing flies — the more frustrated we get and the less in control we feel? That’s because when we’re reacting, we’re giving up control. We’ve decided to let an outside force set our agenda for us.

    Now, that doesn’t mean we should stick our fingers in our ears and go through life singing “I can’t hear you” to anything unpleasant that comes along. Control isn’t about tuning out the un-fun stuff or having things go our way. It’s about getting in touch with what we do want. That takes practice, and patience, and relaxed time spent thinking about what you want to be doing and why.

    Turn off your phone, give your “glowing rectangles” a break, and listen for that voice inside that says “Wouldn’t it be awesome if?” The more frequently you listen for it, the louder it gets. Pretty soon, you’ll feel inspired to do something about it. The steps you take from there are your most powerful.

    That’s being proactive.

  • How to be a massive success, idea #1: don't get reactive

    How to be a massive success, idea #1: don't get reactive

    I’ve been writing this and my other blogs for a while, but that doesn’t make me immune from making stupid mistakes.

    In this case, my mistake got me unfriended and blocked on Facebook. It got me no perceptible forward movement on anything I truly think is important in life. It got me wrapped up in turmoil. It got me writing long blog posts with little response.

    It was a waste of time and energy.

    As with any negative thing that happens in life, it’s always vital to ask: what’s the lesson? What was I meant to learn? There’s always a lesson. In this case of getting unfriended and blocked, it took me a while to discover. When I did it was profoundly powerful.

    The realization was that I had gotten into a mode of reactive, knee-jerk thinking rather than proactive thinking.  It was reflecting in my posts on Facebook and on my blog. They were reactive posts. They were against stuff I don’t like rather than towards stuff I want or like.

    It is never a way to build towards anything good in life. It is a step backward, and that’s why I’d been feeling so poorly. It’s why I felt stuck. (Which doesn’t happen often these days, fortunately!)

    One of the most negative modes of habit that any of us can get into is reactive mode. That’s a mode where we are emotionally reacting against stuff we don’t like, rather than working towards stuff we like.

    What is reactivity?

    Reactive is defined as showing a response to a stimulus. It is the process of observing or seeing something in the outside world, then having a knee-jerk response about that thing (which might, for example, including writing a blog post about something one doesn’t like – no, I’ve never done that… wink, wink).

    The opposite of that state is proactivity. Proactivity is acting from an internal motivation to do something positive, good, and forward moving.

    The past few blog posts that I wrote were all written from the reactive standpoint.  They were responses to things that I didn’t like or agree with that I’d seen in my outer environment.

    This blog post is the (re)starting of a new direction – something that comes from that inner drive to move forward, and to help others in doing the same. It’s not that all my blogs in the past have been reactive. They haven’t been. It’s been an unconsciously planned mix of both proactive and reactive writing. A random mix is not good enough. Not to create massive success, that is.

    The mix

    That’s how most of us operate in our daily lives. We have this blend of reacting much of the time, with the occasionally inspired proactive thing that we do.

    But that’s not enough. If you’re going to do anything great in this world, you can only do it proactively. Whether your greatness lies in inventing, discovering, writing, building great wealth, or whatever…. it can’t be done in reactive mode. It can only be done proactively.

    This is one of the biggest shifts that I’ve made over the past 4 years. I’ve gone from someone who reacts nearly all the time, with only occasional proactivity, to someone who is proactive much of the time, with occasional reactivity.  So for me, this “month of reactivity” that I fell into last month was a good reminder of where that leads: on a road to nowhere.

    Emotion is bad… no… good… no… which is it?!…. (aaaahhhhhhhhhh)

    There’s a lot of confusion about emotion and feeling, and it’s role in a productive life. Some would have you turn all your emotion and feeling off, and to become a mindless robot just going through the motions. These are the people who believe that all emotion and feeling is bad and leads to sin, temptation, and downfall.

    Others (like me sometimes) claim that you “have to listen to your feelings” to move quickly and intuitively towards what you want out of life. Are you confused by that?

    Most people are. Let me attempt to de-confusify things:

    1. If an emotion (or feeling) comes from reactivity towards something you’ve seen or experienced – especially if that thing is negative – in all likelihood it isn’t going to help you one little bit to act upon it. You will find yourself just making the situation worse – as I experienced with my reactive blogging. For example, let’s say you see a mouth-watering piece of chocolate cake on the counter, and it tempts you to “eat me now!” Let’s say you’re reactive, so you do exactly that. Where does that get you? Heavier and less healthy.
    2. If a feeling (or emotion) comes from an internally generated desire for something positive, such as “hey, I want to share this great idea with people” or “what if I call up Fred to tell him about this idea I had” or whatever – then in all likelihood you will help yourself move much more quickly towards what you want. In contrast to our chocolate cake example, let’s say you want to get fit. So you proactively feel like going for a run. Where does that get you? Feeling even better, building muscle, and getting more fit. It’s the opposite of the reactive chocolate cake eating.

    We get out of life what we focus on (and therefore act upon). If you are focused on these proactive feelings and emotions, you are acting upon something very different than if focused on the reactive stuff.

    If you are acting reactively, you are by definition acting behind the curve. If your action is proactive, you are ahead of the curve.

    Leaders, innovators, and successful people are always acting ahead of the curve, which means they think and take action proactively.

    Commit to being proactive, and get success in return

    If you want to be a great success in whatever you do, make this one commitment: to become proactive at all times.

    Is it easy? No. You will be tested and challenged on a regular basis to get sucked back in.

    Is it worth it? Yes. The world will open up to you in proportion to how much you act and think proactively, rather than reactively.

    Dr. Morgan Giddings

  • Being on time – is this how to lead?

    Being on time – is this how to lead?

    Does being on time, every time, assure success?

    According to a recent post by my friend Chuck Rylant, it does:

    When considering hiring someone for example, if they say they will call at 3:00 PM, when they call at 3:10 PM, I terminate the business relationship immediately.

    It is interesting that Chuck chooses to be so black and white about it. I mean, what if he was hiring Donald Trump to speak about investing… if Donald showed up 10 minutes late, would that be it, finito?

    This highlights an issue that drives me bonkers about our modern society. We expect it to run like a big clock.

    Live by the clock, die by the clock. Really.

    I don’t wear a watch anymore. I try as hard as I can to forget what time it is because I enjoy life more when I’m not focused on the clock.

    For all of the millions of years of human development, we’ve had accurate handheld clocks for about 20 of them. That’s a tiny, tiny little slice of history. And suddenly, these little devices are making the BIG decisions for us, like whether to have a business relationship with someone?

    When you’re hiring, it pays to be picky

    I get it. When someone shows up late for a job interview, that is a really bad sign. There better be a very good reason. And, it better be clear that the person making the excuse is not just an excuse-maker in general.

    However, just this one thing doesn’t say anything about whether that person is the best for the job.  I’ve employed many people throughout my life, and some were more punctual than others. This was not always a direct correlation with who was more productive.

    Clocks kill creativity (mostly)

    Creative thinking is nonlinear. That means it is not predictable exactly when or where it will happen. It means that, even if you’re working around the clock, you may not get that idea you need to move the project forward. You may only get that idea when you take a day off and go to the beach.

    When we try to box our creative thinking into little slices of time that are available during the working day, we limit it, we contain it, we corral it.

    Maybe that’s why so few people call themselves “creative!” It may be that they’re simply doing things – like living and dying by a clockwork model of our lives. If they loosened up a bit, maybe the creativity would start coming, naturally.

    Do what you say you’ll do, and do it with excellence

    If I’m faced with a choice of whether to delay a project and make it far better, versus being exactly on time but delivering something sub-par, the automatic answer is not to always be on time. If someone needs something by a deadline, then being on time is more important. But in most other cases, actually taking a bit of extra time (a few hours or days) to do something that’s higher quality is always better.

    The best of both worlds is, of course, to deliver on time and with excellence, every time. This is the gift of masters. There are very few of them who truly exist in our world – and they can charge insanely high prices because of it.

    But for the rest of us mere mortals, let’s not try to live our lives exactly by the precision of the clock. We do not live in a precise world, no matter how much we want to try to slice and dice it into one.