For much of my life, I thought I was lazy, and berated myself for not being less lazy than I seem to be. (I also sometimes berate myself for using double negatives in my writing, so maybe I just like berating myself).
Anyhow, I don’t think I’m alone.
When I’ve taken the time to consciously think about it, I realize that the problem is not what my default mode of thinking thinks it is. It’s not that I’m actually lazy. The real problem is that I don’t operate well according to a traditional, linear clock schedule.
Again, I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one. I see others who struggle with this as well.
I have times when there are bursts of creativity, insight, and action that produce large amounts of work. There are other times when my energy is low, and I have no clarity whatsoever — nor do I feel like doing much of anything.
After over five decades of struggling with this self-beration paradigm, always trying to “be better” and failing, I’ve finally decided to give myself some grace.
Some of that grace came from a writing project I’ve been working on. In one part of that project, I write about the Quantitative Trap that our society is in. This phrase describes a deep, core belief system we all are steeped in from birth about the seeming importance of the *quantitative* over the *qualitative.*
This belief in the quantitative applies to our experience of time, use of time, and thoughts about our own productivity therein. In my case, I had bought into the idea that time is quantitative and linear, and therefore my productivity should be so.
Yet this diminished my qualitative experience, causing me adopt the stance that I couldn’t follow the natural rhythms of my body, mind, and creativity.
It caused me to try to act like a machine, ever working, gears consistently whirring, when my body and mind don’t work that way.
And for the ultimate cherry on top, it caused me to do that berating I mentioned before, whenever I fell short of my perceived quantitative yardstick of how productive I “should be being” versus how productive I was actually being.
I’m done with that. For me, this is the year of Qualitative over Quantitative. I’m focusing on the Quality of my own experience, since life is short, and I’m done with all the measurement, comparison, and self-flagellation based on arbitrary quantitative yardsticks, like those of “productivity.”
If you’re someone who has gotten sucked into the Quantitative Trap, and want to experience something different, please join me in focusing this year on the Qualitative.
What do you think? Have you succumbed to the Quantitative Trap? Want to do something different?
